Dear Advertisers
I’ve been hearing about the issues you’re dealing with regarding purchasing ad space for the next television season. I guess so many people are watching television using their DVRs, that they just skip through all the ads you paid good money to get on the air. And I understand your dilemma. Why would you want to continue paying for ads that no one is watching?
Here’s the problem: If you stop buying ad space, the networks will have less money, and we’ll end up with a poorer product. And then you’ll sell even less ads. Plus, I won’t be able to watch Heroes anymore, because it will suck when they have to hire different actors after the current ones quit because of pay reductions.
But don’t sweat it, I have an idea: Stop making terrible advertisements. Have any of you thought about why people want to skip through your ads? It’s because they’re boring. Have any of you taken into consideration why people get so excited about watching ads during the Superbowl? They’re entertaining. Nobody wants to watch something they don’t care about. Why wouldn’t you put the effort into making entertaining advertisements that people look forward to watching? It seems to me that the Superbowl would be your day of LEAST effort, seeing as how everyone is already in front of the television. Every other day of the year you should be doing your best to draw people in front of the tube.
Nobody sits at work thinking, “Man, I’ve gotta make it home on time to catch that Acura commercial!” And I guarantee no one is setting their DVRs so they don’t miss Billy Mays yelling at them about OxiClean. They want to know how Peter Petrelli is going to save the stinking world!
Here’s the deal: Make us laugh. Make us interested. Make me a sandwich! If you put the kind of effort into your advertising that will make us interested, we may reconsider skipping your commercials. As a result, we may buy your products (unless they’re dumb, in which case, stop feeding into consumerism), and you’ll be willing to fork over the cash for more ads, and the networks will have more money, in which case they can continue paying Masi Oka to be a totally awesome time-traveling Samurai warrior.
Trust me, this will good for all of us.
Sincerely,
Cory
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