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Halloween Safety Tips From Dave Barry

In Randomness on 31 October 2007 tagged dave barry, halloween, list, parenting, safety, tips with 3 comments

The Classic Dave Barry Calendar entry for Wednesday 31, 2007:

On The National Safety Council’s website, you parents will find thirty tips for parents to ensure that your children have a safe Halloween. For you convenience, Uncle Dave has boiled these tips down to five:

1. Never allow your children outside on Halloween night.
2. Or in the daytime, either.
3. Your children should spend Halloween locked inside a windowless room, sedated, and wrapped from head to toe in reflective tape.
4. If, God forbid, some neighbor, somehow, manages to actually give one of your children a treat, you must immediately snatch it away and destroy it with a flamethrower.
5. Never use a flamethrower while sleeping.

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